The Control Freak’s Story

Have you ever wondered how a control freak plans a wedding? Here are some excerpts from an article written by a control freak who planned her own wedding:

…watching a control freak plan a wedding is like seeing how many jellybeans you can fit in your mouth: amusing for a little while, but in the end painful and likely to make you ill. I’ve been making myself sick for about two months now. It started with the date. Seems everyone thought they had a right to an opinion, including the Beloved. After much screaming, gnashing of teeth and a few threats to call the whole thing off, we agreed on a day. Okay, so the date’s set and I move on to the next phase. Picking a reception site.

Sounds easy doesn’t it. After two trips to the wedding city and looking at eleven places to satisfy my curiosity and belief that the very one I wouldn’t look at would be perfect and cheap. After eleven, Beloved called it quits. I started to cry. That’s when my control freak became painful. We chose the first site we looked at. Beloved remarked that he had known when we walked in it the first time that it was the one. Yeah, rub it in….

…Luckily, I was able to get help. Namely, my college roommate telling me that I was driving her crazy and to stop whining. I took a long look at myself. And I hit bottom. I had to admit to myself that I was a control freak.

Some little known fact about control freaks. It’s not that we’re so self-confident that we believe we’re always right. Instead, we’re paranoid. We’re convinced that no one has our best interests at heart and should we ever let down on our vigilance, we’d find ourselves homeless, friendless and sniffing glue…

This, of course, will not happen. I have taken the first step to letting go. I assigned Beloved to deal with music — all the music. My bridesmaids are picking their own dresses. And my mom is helping with the catering…

Rather than getting angry that no one is helping, I’m feeling relaxed for the first time since I got engaged. Every time I start to worry, I state my mantra of the wedding ‘At the end of the evening, all the guests will be too drunk to care.’ Sure, it’s not the serenity prayer, but it works.

Budgeting for Your Wedding

Planning a wedding can be very taxing especially if you go over budget. This is why it is very important to make sure that you set a budget from the very start. To help you with your budget here are some tips.

1. Do a little research or canvassing to get a reality check BEFORE setting your budget. Around this time you will realize just how fancy or simply your wedding can be because it is also when you will realize just how much you can afford. You don’t have to do an exhaustive itemized research but simply go to wedding sites and find quotations there.

2. Set you maximum overall budget.

3. According to what you have researched and which aspects of the wedding is important to you create a pie chart dividing it into categories. The usual categories you need to budget for are the reception, attire, flowers, photo/video, music, invites, souvenirs, venue, cake, hair and make-up, and gifts. The reception is almost always the most expensive part and can take up to more than 50% of the entire budget. The next most expensive categories are usually the attire and flowers. However, this all depends on your choices. If you want to get married in a really popular place you might need to set aside more for the venue. On the other hand if you will be getting married in your mom’s dress then the attire will need a very little percentage since you’ll only need to spend money on re-fitting and dry cleaning.

4. Make a timeline. Yes when budgeting you shouldn’t just think about the figures but think about the dates as well. Try to figure out when you will be having an influx of money to pay for required reservation deposits so that you will be able to plan when you’ll be dishing out money. It makes sense to spread out your spending instead of paying for everything all at once. Besides paying early might get you discounts so plan these as well.

5. Get to the nitty gritty. Once you’ve made a general budget then it’s choosing time. Choose the dress, venue, caterer, invites, and everything else according to what you can accommodate with your budget. If your budget is a bit tight you’ll usually have to choose between sacrificing some details and making your guest list a bit smaller. Once you get to this portion you can adjust and ease up on a category’s budget if you realize you will actually need to spend less on something else.

Building Your Bridal Registry – Things to Consider

The choosing of wedding gifts is probably the only really onerous task there is for wedding guests. It isn’t that people hate giving gifts but coming up with a gift that the couple will really appreciate is something that can be really hard to do unless you know exactly what the couple really wants. This is probably the reason why gift registries are very popular nowadays.

Having a gift registry is really great since guests don’t have to rack their brains thinking of gift ideas but only need to look at the list on your registry and then pick one that they like and are within their budget range. It is also of course very easy for you to make your gift list since you know exactly what you want and need. However, there are some things you should remember to consider when making your list.

1. Your other half – You might get away listing stuff in your gift registry-to-be that you might forget to consult your spouse-to-be. Make sure you also include some of his/her requests and show your own list. That way you both can veto something from the list if you’re not comfortable with something the other has included.

2. Organization – Try to make the list organized so it will be easy for the guests to go through it. List items under specific categories instead of simply listing everything down in random order.

3. Budget variety – Don’t be shy about adding several or many expensive items on the list as long as you have affordable ones there too. Even if you expect most of your guests to be really rich you never know is someone is hard up at the moment. On the other hand even if you expect most of your guests to be closer to broke than rich you also never know if someone just came up with an inheritance or some extra cash and want to shower it on you two.

4. Update the list – This is where any people bungle. They come up with a list, distribute it, but offer no means for the guests to know the latest on whether an item is already taken by someone or not. You have several choices in updating your list. First is to use an online bridal registry, next is to post a number they can call to confirm which gifts they plan on sending (get help from your wedding coordinator or a friend so you won’t need to take the calls), and last is to use a specific store’s registry.

Hiring A DJ For the Reception

Though live music is the choice of some couples for their wedding ceremony and wedding reception, there are those who prefer to have a DJ play music for the reception only. This could be a more cost effective alternative without compromising the quality of the music. What should your considerations be when looking for a DJ? Here are some things to think about.

Contract
You should always ask for a written contract. This will ensure you that you have a hold on the DJ should something arise and he does not show up. It is also a preemptive move, ensuring you that he will stick to the arrangements that you have agreed upon. Do not merely take his word – you need written proof.

More so, you need to stipulate everything in the contract. Detail the DJs tasks during the event. Is he going to act as the Master of Ceremonies as well or does he just deal with the music? How long should the DJ and his crew stay? Detail the number of hours. Also do not forget the preparation time. What time are they arriving at the venue? Is there anything they would need for setting up? Usually, it should be included in the contract that they will bring with them everything that they need. Think about all the little details that you want to consider and talk about them and place them in the contract.

Experience
As with live musicians, you should know how much and what kind of experience the DJ has. Take note that the experience should be with weddings particularly and not some other party. Of course, you need to know that he can handle everything during the reception perfectly. This can only be assured if he has a lot of experience under his belt.

Music
No doubt one of the most important considerations you must have is the extent and nature of their music collection. You would have an idea of what kind of music you want played during your reception. You may even have specific songs in mind – even a playlist. Present and go over this with your DJ and see if he can deliver what you want. The last thing you would want to happen is to have sucky music playing during your reception.

These are only some key points to consider. Why not make a list of your own questions and add your own ideas? Happy hunting!

How To Choose Your Musicians

Music is part and parcel of any wedding. For that matter, music is an inherent part of any important ceremony. Since the dawn of man, music has always been part of life. It adds a certain something to any occasion. Think about it, most any special occasion that you go to will have music to accompany it. This is all the more true for a wedding.

That is why couples who are planning their wedding put a lot of consideration into the choosing of the music for their wedding. Yet more than determining what songs will be played during the ceremony and reception, couples nowadays also focus a lot on the musicians. Live music is often more used than canned music for the main reason that it sounds better. Here are some things for you to consider when choosing musicians for your wedding.

Amateurs or professional musicians? This is one question that many couples ask. On the one hand, there are amateurs as talented as professionals who charge very affordable fees. On the other hand, professionals are very much used to this kind of work. One concern is that amateur musicians may not have the same work ethics and level of professionalism yet. They may not be as reliable as the professionals. I am not generalizing but merely giving you a heads up. I guess it all boils down to how well you know the people. If you feel that you can totally trust an amateur musician and that you love his or her work, then go ahead. Of course, if you feel more comfortable with the more seasoned musician, then that is the way you should go.

In the process of choosing a musician (or musicians) for your wedding, one of the first things you should ask for is a demo tape or CD. You should also inquire if it is possible to see them perform live. More than that, ask for references so that you can verify their talent and character.

If you are not dealing directly with the musicians – many of them have agents or representatives – try to arrange a face to face meeting with them as it may help you assess the compatibility of the person or group with you and your partner’s needs and preferences. Last, if you have some idea of what kind of music you want for your wedding already, make sure that the musicians will be able to play it in a way that meets your expectations.

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