The Art Of Compromise

Opposites attract is a very old saying. It is also very true. Many couples deal with things very differently. One may be very laid back and easy going while their partner is very strict and detail oriented. It isn’t such a bad thing to have different ways of handling things. It can mean that what one misses, the other won’t. They therefore complement each other.

When it comes to weddings, these style differences can be cause for friction. Truly, the wedding preparation can help you both adjust to each other and see if you can not only work together but live together full time. The way you deal with each other during this period just shows how you will deal with each other when you are married. Take note!

Normally though you’ll find a way to compromise. It is either one of you will give in or you meet halfway. For example, your groom may not be as much of an extrovert as you are. He isn’t fond of parties. He’ll probably prefer a smaller wedding than you. On the other hand, you’ve always dreamed of a wedding where your whole family would be present. You want all your friends and officemates there. You can go either way but one or the other - budget will probably play a part in your decision making. You’ll have to trim the guest list to suit the budget.

You want to have an elaborate wedding gown made by Monique Lhuillier. Unfortunately, as tradition dictates (in some cultures), your husband’s family is paying for all the dresses and the budget just can’t accommodate it. You might insist - but that will cause friction between you and your in-laws. Some may be agreeable to your paying the difference in cost. Generally though, that would mean that they lose face. Simply put, it embarrasses your fiance’s family if they cannot deliver the perfect wedding as you hope. Hopefully you can find a Monique Lhuillier gown that meets the budget.

How many guests will each of you have at the wedding? Do you split the numbers equally 50/50? Usually the numbers are unbalanced, in favor of who’s footing the bill. What do you do if your parents want to invite more people? Can you really say no to them? Your going to need to either find a way to control the numbers or add to the budget. That’s all there is to it.

Everything about weddings are agreements and compromises. You will need to find things that are acceptable to both of you - and in some cases, acceptable to your parents as well. For some, it will be really easy. Others may have more adjusting to do. It is always best to talk it out and learn to work together. It will be closer to your dream wedding if you do.

Some phrases to keep in mind (and to keep your humor intact even through wedding preparation stress):

He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, “You’re the boss.”

or

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

[tags] weddings,wedding planning,budget,relationships,in-laws,etiquette [/tags]