More Than Words

Most of the wedding ceremony is a ritual. You don’t need to remember anything but I do. That does make it seem so boring, so dull. It is so much nicer to personalize it. We all know that we remember an event better if we actively take part in it.

This is true for every step of the wedding. Ask the brides whose weddings were handled, almost completely, by someone else, whether it was their mother, mother in law or wedding planner, and they will tell you that they don’t remember much about the preparation but they do remember the wedding itself. On the other hand, the women who handled their wedding preparations themselves can tell you about every moment from the proposal to the difficulty of finding the perfect venue and all the touches that would make.

The most personal moments of the wedding are the vows and the speeches. They tend to make a number of people nervous, especially those who feel they have no gift for public speaking. What in the world should we say? What in the world will they say?

The bride and groom have the easier task. There are many websites offering to help create personalized vows. These same sites have available vows that may already match what you are looking for.

Of course if there is even a little bit of a poet in you, you won’t need much help. All you need to do is to put into words how you feel about the special person whose life is about to become part of yours. You may not be Shakespeare but you’ll get your message across.

When we speak from the heart, it is easy to find the words. They seem to flow right out of us. The problem sometimes is how to curb the flow and keep your vows just short enough to last less than a minute otherwise your ceremony will last a whole day. You just need to put together in words how blessed you feel to have found each other and express exactly what you are promising each other as spouses.

On the other hand, you’ll have no control over what the toasts at your wedding will be about. Nervousness can make people develop verbal diarrhea causing your maid of honor and the best man to spill more about your past than you’d like. Even your father may be feeling very expansive or sentimental and start babbling about the time when you were still in diapers.

You may want to talk with your chief attendants about their toasts. They will understand your need for reassurance that you won’t talk about their most embarrassing moments. Usually you will have nothing to worry about. Since they are your closest friends they will refrain from putting your history on display but do expect a few comments to both make everyone laugh and to touch your heart. They will usually aim to show your guests why you and your future spouse belong together. They will express from the heart the love they feel for you and their delight in your union.

[tags]wedding,wedding planning,wedding speeches,wedding vows[/tags]